About me

I have missed the feeling of belonging

As the youngest daughter of my Malawian mother and Dutch father, I grew up on the island of Curaçao, where all three of us weren't completely at home in our new home. I knew from very early on that I was the odd one out, kids are brutally honest of course. But I also felt this way within my huge family: nobody looked like me. And for a long time I felt like nobody really understood me. 

I moved back to The Netherlands for my studies and was lucky enough to encounter Capoeira when I was seventeen. The music, the rhythm of the drums, the flow of the dance moves and the magic of the Afro-Brazilian culture swallowed me whole. I felt home, but of course I am not Brazilian. So what is it that made me feel like I belonged? It took me years to understand, but now I know: 

It was the perfect combination

A combination that also lives within me. I understand the directness of the Dutch culture, the weight of arriving on time for an appointment for example. At the same time, there will not be a party at my house without enough food for everybody invited and for those who show up unexpectedly. Food is our love language: have you eaten yet? A question asked once you walk through the door. Where there's rhythm, I move. Sometimes without being aware of it. I take my time for the important things in life. When the sun shines, my body reaches for it like a sunflower. My shoulders relax, my eyes close and an instant smile appears. I greet my neighbours, I ask how they've been, how the family is doing before I continue my path. But I still need to be in time, so I leave early, because you never know who you'll run into. I met my husband through Capoeira, Ecuadorian and Dutch, who also lives by the phrase

Mi casa es su casa

My house is your house, feel at home. The warmth in which you are immediately embraced in the African, Caribbean, South-American culture is what I recognized within Capoeira and made me realise that we're not so different, we just need to feel seen, safe and understood.

I am lucky to have inherited the polygloth gene from my mother who speaks eleven languages. They come easy to me and I love to learn them, which is why I speak English, Dutch, Spanish, Papiamento and Brazilian Portuguese. My Swahili is very basic, just like my Bahasa, French and German. But because of my willingness to learn, try and make mistakes, plus my big smile, communicating with others while traveling has brought me many beautiful experiences. 

Traveling is also in my genes

This one I inherited from my father, who has traveled to and worked in many countries and has taken us on trips to numerous places in the world. I am forever grateful that he showed us the world from such a young age. Nowadays I work part time as a flight attendant, where I get to discover new places, try different food and learn from different cultures. I love the interaction I get to have with people on board as they tell me their stories on their way to the next step in their lives. As a mother of two little ones, traveling has also felt very hard and heart breaking. I have cried many tears when my little ones were tiny. But now, they love traveling just as much as I do, or maybe more. As they get to visit their beloved huge family and be bathed in love every time. 

So why now this path, you ask?

Once I became a mother myself, I finally got to live what so many have lived before me. The broken nights, full of love, but definitely not full of sleep. Swollen breasts, the painful toilet visits, the worry, the loneliness, all at the same time of feeling full of love, yet drained because I was giving my baby my all. I forgot that my cup had to be full in order to keep on pouring and by the time I remembered I was too depleted and didn't dare to ask for help. Because surely if they had done it, I could do it too. What I forgot was that they, all those years ago, did not do this by themselves. Once I started reading about post partum care and the way that it is done in Asian, African and South American cultures I realised that 

Something was very wrong

The focus was off! It was all about me when I was pregnant: regular check ups with the midwife, are you eating well, sleeping enough, how's that pain in your back, do you need a massage? Random people pulling out chairs, carrying your  heavy groceries, everyone sees the pregnant woman. Wonderful! And as soon as the baby is here, the focus shifts towards the baby. I understand, how can they be so cute?! But we need to zoom out and focus on the mother as well, especially during those early days after birth. After birthing my daughter I knew that I did not want her to ever feel alone if she were ever to have a fourth trimester. Nor did I want my nieces to feel like they would be failing. 

The generations of women to come deserve better! 

I felt the need to learn everything about the fourth trimester, so I followed a course at the Doula Academie to become a Kraamtijd Doula. Everytime my teacher Jacky would mention anything about herbs, my heart would make a little jump. I want to know more about that too! So I followed her Women's Herbal Health course as well. While speaking to my mother one day about the different herbs one could use for menopause, she mentioned that her grandmother was the village

Medicine Woman and Midwife

I could not believe my ears and at the same time everything made sense. Still I felt that there was something missing, the information that I had gathered thusfar seemed incomplete to me. Until I stumbled upon the course African Spirituality in Childbirth by Dr. Motsei in South Africa. This search of mine to collect  as many puzzle pieces feels like a treasure hunt. I am still gestating everything I have learnt and will never stop seeking for more. I am following my heart and my smile, for they have yet to dissapoint me on this path that I am on.